Studies show that approximately one trillion
people use the Internet
to meet people. Some
are hoping for a
love match,others are seeking
companion. I've met
many people who have
indeed met and married
their current soul
mates online. With the many matchmaking, personal services
and chat rooms available,
love can be definitely
be found. Regardless
of marital status, geographical
location, and cultural
differences many who
get involved in on
line relationships form
very strong emotional
ties. Just like in
real life, on line
couples and friends experience
complications and
disagreement during their
relationships. Ask Tassy! offers support to persons seeking
advice for problems
or questions that you
may have regarding
relationships and other
socially oriented
questions. Tassy! will
help you get through
the difficult times.
Send your questions
in care of The Crystal
Angel Magazine.
All names will be
kept Confidential!
Dear Tassy,
My husband and I have been married for almost
a year now. Lately we can't seem to have
a conversation that doesn't end in an argument.
It's almost as if we were speaking two different
languages.
Everything I say
he takes as a personal
attack,
and then he responds
by saying things
to
purposely hurt me.
The constant fighting
and bickering is
taking a toll on
our marriage...
what can we do to
remedy this?
Yours Truly
Moover In Love
Dear Moover In Love,
Communication is very important for a healthy
relationship (but
you probably already know
that), and when you
and your partner are
lacking it, you can
get frustrated and feeling
helpless.
The first thing to do in your situation is
to sit down with your hubby and spell out
how you feel. Be straightforward instead
of going around in circles, too. Tell him
you are frustrated because you want to get
a point across and he takes your words as
personal attacks, when that's not how you
mean them. Ask him to propose a solution,
a better way for you to communicate, and
really listen to what he tells you without
interrupting him.
If you do that, he'll be more prone to listen
to you talk until you are finished too. Learning
to listen is the first step in establishing
good communication, trust me. Becoming aware
of your communication patterns is the second
step. Pay attention to your choice of words
when talking to him... instead of saying
you this, you that (which can be misconstrued
as a personal attack), rephrase your thoughts
to be more generic.
For instance, instead of telling him "you
never take the trash out when I ask you to"
try the hubby-proofed version with "I
wish you would take the trash out when it's
full"...get the idea?
You can still say what you want to say but
in a way he'll listen
instead of getting
defensive.
Third and final step is thinking (and re-thinking)
before speaking. Words can be very powerful and
hurtful, so don't underestimate them. Think
before you say something you might regret,
for a conversation can quickly escalate into
a war of words and become pointless. Bottom
line: communication is a two-way process
and what you put out signals the other party
involved as to what they can put out in return.
Be Understanding.
Tassy
Dear Tassy!
I have been talking on line to this guy for
a year. We started chatting as friends and
soon it became more.
The sex has been fabulous and we could not
seem to get enough of each other. We get
together on line for 4 hours for 5 days a
week. We never met in real but have often
talked about it.
I am a single woman and he is married. He
told me that he's
very happy with his marriage
and although I enjoy
our time together on
line I do not want
to be a home-wrecker.
For several weeks now I've seen him on line,
but he has not been
spending as much
time
with me. It seems
as though he is pushing
me away.
He stated that he thinks that he's getting
too close to me. He ignores me for weeks
at a time and then pops back into my life.
I have fallen in love with him and I have
become obsessed with him. I feel like he's
playing with my emotions but he says that's not
true - he just can't seem to stay away from
me.
He says he would like to meet me face to
face. I don't know what to do. I really love
him and always wonder if I have a chance.
Sincerely
Waiting to be the One
Dear Waiting
You asked me if I think you have a chance.
Yes, you have a chance of becoming a lonely
woman with a broken heart!
Sweetie, this man told you that he was happily
married. This means that he has no intentions
of leaving his wife for you. He was looking
for a fun girl on line and that's what he's
found.
You said that you don't want to be a home-wrecker,
so don't. If he ever left his wife(which
he won't) and married you (which he won't)
he'll do the same to you that he did to his
wife.
You also stated that he stays away from you
for weeks at a time while he's online. This
means that he's scouring the rooms hooking
up with other women. You are not his only
girl online. If what you want from him is
marriage, you're dreaming.
He also has no intentions on meeting you
in real, He's using that as a way to keep
you available for him when he wants to be
with you. If you are looking to find a guy
on line to marry you, my advice to you is
to stay away from this man and cutoff all
contact with him because sweetie, he's just
not into you. Find a single man who's into
you as much as you are into him.
Be Smart
Tassy
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Studies show that approximately one trillion
people use the Internet
to meet people. Some
are hoping for a
love match,others are seeking
companion. I've met
many people who have
indeed met and married
their current soul
mates online. 
conversation that doesn't end in an argument.
It's almost as if we were speaking two different
languages. 
speaking. Words can be very powerful and
hurtful, so don't underestimate them. Think
before you say something you might regret,
for a conversation can quickly escalate into
a war of words and become pointless. Bottom
line: communication is a two-way process
and what you put out signals the other party
involved as to what they can put out in return.
with my emotions but he says that's not
true - he just can't seem to stay away from
me. 
